The Big Hand Points To...

...jam karet. A well-known phrase that people learning Indonesian love to throw around. Literally translated it means "rubber time", but is understood as time is flexible. In Indonesia, I don't think jam karet quite covers the issue of time. Time isn't just flexible in this country, but seems to follow its own rules entirely. It's as though this place exists in some vortex, some anomaly where while time still follows a linear path, it doesn't do so at a constant rate. Let's follow up this pseudo-physics claim with some examples, shall we?

Clocks

If you happen to see a wall clock in Indonesia, you can be almost completely certain that it does not show the right time. If it does show the right time, it's probably because the clock has actually stopped, and you managed to catch it at one of the two times in a day where a stopped clock shows the correct time for one second. Nobody ever seems bothered by this. Big clocks in public places and on monuments show the wrong time. Wall clocks in government departments show the wrong time. Clocks at university show the wrong time. In fact, the only clock I can remember seeing showing the correct time (more or less) is the clock at my gym, and I suspect that is simply so they can throw the patrons out at exactly 11:30 so all the staff can have lunch and a nap. Ironically, since I've been here, the clock on my mobile phone has stopped keeping time properly, particularly if it goes flat. I suspect there's some kind of aberrant electro-magnetic field that affects the functionality of clocks here. Or possibly it's simply a cultural disinterest in accurate time. Whatever you would like to believe.

Waiting

Living in Indonesia, it is not unreasonable to set aside a whole day for a single task. My general rule of thumb, one which I often forget and therefore end up frustrated about, is that when attempting to do something, multiply the time you would normally expect it to take by three. When trying to do something here, you have to allow for time-affecting factors such as traffic, paperwork, "queueing" (something that demands a blog entry of its own), the general incompetence and unhelpfulness of the people in whatever office or shop you're trying to do your task in (usually counteracted frustratingly with utmost friendliness and politeness) and of course the incredible likelihood that wherever you want to go is tutup (closed) or whatever you want is kosong (out of stock). If you are trying to walk somewhere, you'll inevitably be stuck behind an Indonesian who is walking incredibly slowly whilst taking up the entire pathway. If you are trying to do some activity with someone or more than one person other than your self, you also have to factor in a very significant portion of time which will be spent waiting around in some random place for somebody or a decision to be made with no good reason whatsoever. You will find that you will spend most of your time waiting.

Language

Indonesia's vague and relaxed attitude from time can also be discerned from the multitude of vague and relaxed phrases relating to time (this also applies to any kind of empirical measurement). Words such as besok, which can mean tomorrow or any unspecified day afterwards, and kemarin, which means yesterday and beyond. Nanti for later. Kira-kira or kurang-lebih for approximately. Mungkin for maybe. Invariably, if you ask someone how long something will take, you'll usually get an answer along the lines of sebentar (a moment) or not too long, or it'll be done later sometime, or tomorrow. If you are actually given some kind of time frame, be sure to mentally multiply it by three like I mentioned earlier. In Java particularly, people will not want to upset you by having to tell you it is going to be longer than you'd like so will cheerfully deliberately underestimate things, and generally estimating time isn't their forte anyway.

People who know me well know that I'm not exactly the timeliest of people. Many of my friends have started making coffee dates at a particular time, and then arriving half an hour later which is when they figure I'll be arriving. They're usually correct. I'm also quite vague at times. So it will be interesting to see how this year has impacted on my ability to turn up on time. Either I'll have learned my lesson and will make an effort to be more punctual in future, or I'll have absorbed Indonesia's culture of time and will be worse than ever. Only time will tell.

Thanks for tuning in!!